Showing posts with label nurture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nurture. Show all posts

Monday, February 10, 2014

Disappointment - yikes!

Hi everyone,

Well, I've held off posting for a week or so because the word that kept coming to mind was...disappointment! I'm not sure why that is stuck on replay in my mind, but since it is, I thought maybe someone reading this needs a little encouragement.

The thing is, we all go through disappointments - yearly, monthly, weekly, daily...sometimes hourly!! It's how we handle those disappointments that will affect how we feel physically and emotionally.

For example, the cool fence you see in the picture is the one I mentioned last spring. I love how it looks, but was totally disappointed about the lack of customer service from the landscaper. One of the $10 plants (luckily not a camellia!) died shortly after planting. I suggested a small credit to my credit card so that the landscaper wouldn't have to drive all the way here to replace one small plant, which was on the end anyway. He assured me twice, in writing, that he would come and replace it. Alas, that never happened and I had to get rather stern about at least getting a copy of the lifetime warranty for the fence. The result? I simply won't use that landscaper anymore, nor would I refer him if asked about the fence.

That's a pretty simple disappointment, isn't it? It took several hours of my time to finally get it out of the way, but overall, nothing to get too uptight about. Just a disappointing experience with a service provider. Those kinds of things happen often enough that I knew to just dismiss it when it was over.

But what about when it's a disappointment about your health? Some of you know that my husband had tongue cancer 7 years ago (key word...HAD!) and he has suffered ramifications of the radiation several times since then. The most recent incident involves his jaw totally locking for some odd reason. A month into this stressful situation, he is finally able to get his mouth open about 3/8", but still can't eat his beloved scrambled eggs in the morning. He is, once again, on a totally liquid diet. Huge disappointment. Most days he has a good attitude about it, but some days, it's just too much, ya know?? Yeah, I bet some of you DO know because maybe you've gone through something health-wise that is just as disappointing - or worse. 

And speaking of health issues, my blog posts apparently caught the eye of an attorney's office a few weeks ago. I got what appeared to be a heartfelt email from a woman about how it would be so kind of me to post about raising awareness for mesothelioma. Indeed, I have no doubt that awareness is something that would help those affected. Something just didn't feel right, though. When I researched the information from her signature line, it appeared as if it was a thinly veiled way of soliciting clients for an attorney she must work for. ARGH. I am sometimes so disappointed by the human race. When I tried to get a straight answer, I got a very obvious one - she quit responding to my emails, which told me all I needed to know. Again, not a big deal...just... disappointing.

Last week, I was reading evaluations for one of my workshops and one person's comment was quite negative. Even though the overwhelming majority (all other participants, as a matter of fact!) were very complimentary about how helpful the program was for them, that one comment left me feeling...guess what ...disappointed in myself! I wondered what I could have done to reach that one person, when in reality, I should have looked at what I did right to reach all the others so that I could repeat whatever that was ;-). Although I always take evaluations to heart, I got over that one pretty quickly. There wasn't any constructive feedback to help me improve, and since others thought it was great, I had to let it go.

And having just worked on the paperwork to take to the accountant for tax season, I'm reminded that disappointment can certainly come in the form of monetary issues, can't it? I had a good year last year, as did my husband...but neither of us had quite as good a year as the year before. Disappointing? Yes. But oh, we are so blessed. We have our home, our cars, our general health, our four-legged critters to keep us company, food in the pantry, heat or air at the touch of a thermostat, and work we both love. How can disappointment linger when there is so much to be grateful for?? We know the peaks and valleys of being self-employed and we recognize when things are going very well along those lines, as they are for both of us.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, we will all face disappointments coming from a myriad of directions. How do we handle them? How should we handle them? That's different for each of us, isn't it? But one thing I'm fairly certain of is that we each need to make sure those disappointments aren't dragging us down and stealing our joy day after day after day. 

Recognize them? Yes. Deal with them? Sure, the best we can. Then take a deep breath and move on, because life is going to move on anyway, whether you are moving forward with purpose or mired down in the muck of disappointments. 

Find things to focus on that bring you pleasure and nurture your soul - and that take your mind off the disappointment, at least for a time. Flowers, animals, your kids, friends, a beautiful breeze, a good book, a sweet-scented candle, a warm blanket, a piece of rich chocolate ...whatever it is that brings you pleasure...be sure you find a little of that every single day. And be in the moment when you find it, so that - if you need to - you can recall that pleasure to help you deal with whatever life throws your way.

And if I can help chase your disappointment away, just drop me a line. Or if you've found a way that really works for you and might work for others, let me know that, too!

Blessings,
Linda
www.LindasWorkshops.com
Linda@LindasWorkshops.com

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Contentment




Hi everyone and welcome to my new readers ~ I know Candee Rose, Robin, and Priti are recent additions and some of you who read the blog but don't show up in my "followers" - welcome to all of you!




So how did you do last week pondering what is vital to your soul? I took a step toward taking care of that today when I visited a local nursery that helps support disabled folks in our community ~ and took home several deep pink plants to brighten my patio - and my life! Visually beautiful things seem to be vital to my soul. When I look at a passion flower or a brilliant red cardinal at the bird feeder, I feel at peace. I hope that over the past few days, you too have re-discovered something that does that for you.




Today's word is contentment. When I read about something THREE times in one day, it's a pretty sure indication that I should write about it in the blog :-)




The word "content" or "contentment" really did appear in 3 things I read today, but the phrase that really caught my eye was in Dr. Charles Stanley's monthly publication called In Touch. He made the comment that "comparison steals contentment." WOW! Three little words with a whole lot of meaning...




Maybe you've been there...


...someone else lost the weight and you seemed to have found it ~


=goodbye contentment


...a friend just spent your monthly food budget on a gorgeous new outfit ~


=goodbye contentment


...another friend got a beautiful new car ~ and yours runs on duct tape ~


=goodbye contentment


...the neighbor just remodeled and added that stunning sunroom you've always wanted ~


=goodbye contentment


...her husband just did the sweetest thing for her ~


=goodbye contentment


...he just got to play golf for the 5th time this week ~


=goodbye contentment


...their bank account makes yours look like the change you get at McDonald's ~


=goodbye contentment


...they're on schedule to retire early and you'll be working until you're 112 ~


=goodbye contentment


...she just got a promotion...and you just got laid off ~


=goodbye contentment




We could all add dozens, if not hundreds, of other comparisons to this list and not a one of them will make us feel good about ourselves. Comparison does indeed steal contentment.




So let's look at life from a different lens...


Have a headache today? Find contentment in your general good health...


Wishing you had more money in the bank? Find contentment that you HAVE money in the bank...


Your spouse/significant other takes you for granted? Find contentment in the fact that you are with someone who cares for you, even when they don't show it the way you'd like...


You'd like to have a new outfit that WASN'T on the 80% off rack? Walk into your closet and find contentment in what is hanging there - I'll bet there's plenty...


Can't lose that 10 pounds you've been fighting? Find contentment in being able to enjoy every bite of a delicious meal...


You drool when you see the beautiful new sunroom...or kitchen...or carpet...or anything...she just got? Find contentment in the beautiful blue sky, flowering blossoms, and deep green grass that we all get to share - for free!




You get the idea - STOP comparing anything in your life to someone else's life. It's just too easy to get caught up in it and let our contentment drain away.




Challenge yourself this week to FIND contentment in your circumstances ~ and let me know what you found!




Blessings,


Linda




Friday, May 28, 2010

Vital!


Hi everyone,


Thanks for indulging my sporadic postings the past few weeks. I feel like I can finally get back on track with a weekly posting of "words to live by."


This week's word is "vital." There are probably a dozen definitions depending on the dictionary, but the one that really strikes a chord with me is "tending to renew or refresh the living." Of course, there's the air we breathe, the food we eat, the water we drink. But I'm talking something that is vital to your soul.


When I conduct programs on "Returning Balance to Your Life," this is one of the issues we discuss. What in your life is urgent? You know, those pesky cell phones, the email beep, the kids tugging on your sleeve, the spouse wondering when dinner will be ready, the mortgage payment that is due tomorrow - yep, all important things, but maybe not vital to your soul.


When I think of what renews and refreshes me, a couple of things instantly come to mind: my workshops renew and refresh me ~ not the workshops themselves, but the comments I receive from attendees telling me that I have helped them make a change in their lives. The things I learn from researching and continually improving my workshops are vital to me. Quiet time is vital to me.


Let's take people out of the picture for a moment...what is absolutely vital to you? What feeds your soul and makes you feel that all is well with the world? What renews you? What refreshes you? What nurtures that deep place inside that keeps things right in your world?


So...here's the hard question: What have you been doing to make sure the vital things in your life become urgent, demanding immediate attention ~ and what have you been doing to make sure the things we normally say are urgent don't overtake your life??


Blessings,

Linda