Resolutions? Bah humbug!

Mortimer (the squirrel) just chillin'

I recently prepared a short webinar program that I'll be presenting this month entitled, "New Year, New You!" But contrary to what most people will think when they see that title, I'm not talking about making yet another irritating, annoying, hard-to-accomplish resolution :-).

What I'm talking about is deciding now, in January, how you are going to have a better year than last year. Again - some will have to rethink the words, "better year" since I'm not talking about money or even physical health...although I will be thrilled for you if both of those areas of your life are better in 2014 than 2013!

What I'm really talking about, though, is something deep within all of us - a need to feel good about how we're moving through life. After all, life is moving pretty fast, isn't it? Wouldn't it be a good idea to reflect on how you are moving along with it?

So what does that mean to you..."feeling good about how you're moving through life?" Well, here are a few things for you to ponder as we begin this brand new opportunity to move through life in a way that makes us feel good.

• What makes you grateful? 
• What makes you sigh with contentment? 
• What makes you laugh out loud? 
• What makes you feel fulfilled? 
• What makes you feel like you GREW as a person?
• What might you do that will make you feel proud that you tried it?
• How can you make others feel good about how they're moving through YOUR life?
• What might you try to make sure your routines aren't becoming ruts? 
• How can you help your community?
• What do you enjoy learning - and how can you do more of it?

I've been surprised to see several articles in magazines and in ezines in the past couple of weeks that have alluded to the same idea...forget the, "I'm gonna lose an unrealistic percentage of my body weight" or "THIS year, I'll make a million dollars!" or even more ridiculous..."This is the year I'll become a neurosurgeon" [just kidding ;-) - I don't think you'd want me as your neurosurgeon!] You get the idea - apparently, many of us are re-thinking the wisdom of putting ourselves on a guilt trip for resolutions unmet at the end of the year - or the end of January. 

Let's make sure this year we're focusing on making life better - not putting pressure on ourselves to make drastic changes that may very well never come to pass and will only leaving us feeling like we've failed.

A disclaimer here, though...if you really DO want to lose weight (or make a million dollars!), just go easy - don't decide you'll lose 10 pounds a week by eating only 4-leaf clovers, or that you'll spend each paycheck playing the lottery to make that million. Take small, DOABLE baby steps that will move you forward. Even if you don't reach your ultimate goal, you will be closer to that goal - and that's a great way to move through life, wouldn't you agree?

Drop me a note and let me know how it's going - I love to hear from my readers!

Blessings,
Linda
www.LindasWorkshops.com
Linda@LindasWorkshops.com

Vacation!

Ahhhhh...vacation! A time for rest and relaxation, right? How many of you have ever felt like you needed a vacation from preparing for vacation?? That's how I feel right now as I prepare for an upcoming vacation followed quickly by a 4-day business trip. I know the vacation will be great once I'm there, but the "getting there" can be quite taxing :-). The squirrel in the above picture must be feeling about the same, LOL.

As I was thinking about my upcoming vacation from "work," I thought about how we might want to step back occasionally and see if we need a vacation from something else...

Is worry weighing you down? Is there a problem or situation you've been worrying about for awhile? As we know, worry doesn't really solve anything, although it's close cousin, "constructive reflection" can help us work through things sometimes. Maybe it's time to just stop - time to take a worry vacation -even for just a few minutes - where you just soak in the moment, enjoying the sunshine or the pretty purple flower outside your window or even just enjoying the contented look on your kitty's face as he sleeps.

Do you need a vacation from anger? YIKES! That's a scary thought, isn't it? Yet some of us carry anger with us as if it's our JOB - and we all know we perform much better when we take vacations from our jobs. So....stop the anger.

Maybe it's being judgmental of others that you need a break from. Someone isn't doing enough at work, doesn't dress the way they "should," talks too loud, or whatever...just stop. Again, it doesn't solve anything and just keeps you aggravated about the situation.

Have you been comparing yourself or your life - unfavorably - with someone else lately? Your finances, your home, your car, your hair color - whatever! Comparison steals contentment - so just stop.

Just as a "real vacation" is sometimes hard to schedule and enjoy, a vacation from emotions can be challenging, too. The thing is, we have to DECIDE to take the vacation, don't we?

So...what will you decide to take a vacation from?? Drop me a note and let me know!

Blessings,
Linda
www.LindasWorkshops.com
Linda@LindasWorkshops.com

Seasons...

Greetings everyone...

Well, here in Florida, we are just starting to feel a change of seasons - for about 9.3 minutes per day ;-)  In the early mornings, if I am standing in the shade and there's a breeze, the breeze hints that there are cooler days ahead. In the evenings, I can feel those cooler days getting closer. It's time for a new season.

Sometimes it's time for a new season in life, isn't it? And if you're like me, you might not be ready - or you may even be denying that it's coming.

We just experienced a season like that. Murphy, our 16-year old rescued kitty, died on August 22 and I have to face a new season without him. He slept with me (I know some won't approve, but he was my buddy!), he worked on my desk with me (and sometimes drove me crazy bumping up against the computer to get my attention), and he spent quiet time with me most mornings. The void is noticeable.

Murphy had shown signs that he was slowing down, so it was easy to deny that he was also losing weight and having a few "off" days now and then. He played just 2 nights before we said goodbye. In my mind, I convinced myself that he was still the same, young and ornery, and that we had a lot of years left. But somewhere deep in my heart, I knew he was going downhill. The occasional blood tests were showing signs of some ailments that kitties don't recover from. Still, I did not want to face this new season.

As we've said goodbye to Murphy, we've said hello to Brody, our rescued Australian shepherd. Thankfully, he has made me smile at some point every single day since we adopted him. Sometimes the smiles from Brody come through the tears about Murphy. That's how seasons work, I guess. There are good things and sometimes some not-so-good things about the seasons we go through in life.

There are seasons where we feel financially secure, or relatively healthy and fit, or deeply satisfied with our work - or our relationships - or our cars - or our homes - or our                ...

However you fill in that blank, I'll bet you agree that there are also times when we aren't all that thrilled with the current season. 

So what should we do? Hide until it passes? That didn't work so well the last time I tried it! Instead, we need to be in the moment - recognize a season for what it is...a season. A period of time that eventually passes - whether we want it to or not. 

And maybe while we're living in this season, we can also look foward to the new season that's coming just as sure as that cooler weather carried on the breezes here in Florida.

What season are you struggling with? Can you picture the new season waiting for you? Maybe your new season doesn't actually bring a change in circumstances - maybe it just brings a change in you - peace, joy, contentment...whatever this season has been missing. May you find it as you experience this particular season.

Blessings,

Linda

www.LindasWorkshops.com

Linda@LindasWorkshops.com

Comparison

Greetings, everyone!
Well, I think spring is about to spring in most areas of the country. Here in Florida, a friend remarked today that getting into my warm car reminded her of how hot it will soon be here. When I think of those of you who have experienced a very harsh winter, I find no reason to complain about the heat coming our way - I was fortunate to not have to shovel the chilly nights we got and that makes up for it in my book.

Speaking of which, have you ever found yourself comparing something in your life to someone else's life? I'll bet you have - I think all of us have done that at one time or another.

I recently read a note I had made several years ago while listening to my pastor in Ohio. He commented, "Comparison breeds discontent."

OUCH!!

But he's really right in so many cases, isn't he? How often do we think about how lucky we are compared to someone else? I think it's usually the other way around, isn't it? And I believe we are all lucky in some sense. For instance, I don't think I have any readers from Japan, but those of us who do not live there can certainly compare our week to theirs and consider ourselves lucky.

You'll notice an unusual picture with this posting. This is the interior of the hyperbaric chamber that my husband, Guy, experienced for 2 hours every week day for 6 weeks a couple of years ago to promote healing after the oral surgeon broke his jaw pulling an impacted wisdom tooth and they had to wire his jaws shut for 10 weeks (the bones in that area are very fragile due to the 62 radiation treatments he had for tongue cancer in 2007).

Considering Guy has a bit of claustrophobia, it was no mean feat that he managed to complete the entire course of treatment, especially the day he had to share the chamber with a very large man who was reacting violently to being in the chamber - kicking out with his foot very near Guy's face! Anyway... we were so, so fortunate ~ not that he had the broken jaw, of course, but that we found this hyperbaric chamber about an hour away. In this chamber, Guy could sit up; in others you have to lie down with a "lid" closed over you as if you are in a coffin ~ doesn't sound too appealing, eh? So, comparison was good for us that time around!

When I was thinking about that word ~ comparison ~ so many areas of life popped into my head: weight, finances, house, health, car, clothes, family, appearance, hair, relationships, job, retirement, weather, pay scale, abilities, skills, experiences, talents, education ~ YIKES! It's scary to think that "comparison" can bring up that many thoughts so quickly!

So here's my challenge for you [don't you hate it when I do that?? :-)]... for the next 30 days ~ yes, I said 30 days! ~ I want you to find things in your life that you can "compare" to someone else's and realize how lucky you are.

Can you do it? I think you can! Use my list of "comparison areas" above to get you started.

And let me know how you do!
Blessings,
Linda
www.LindasWorkshops.com

Calm...ahhhh!

Hi everyone (the picture is of my daughter and her family - well really, she's my stepdaughter, but I've known her for 80% of her life!),

A few days ago, I enjoyed participating in a workshop to review a workbook written by Dr. Stephen Schacher to accompany his book, Calm.

The human mind, as you've probably figured out, is one of my favorite topics to ponder - as in, what makes us do - or not do - what we do (or don't do!!)? What makes one person react so differently to the same situation someone else is also experiencing? Why can some people tune in to others' feelings, and other people just sort of trample all over everyone - without even being aware of it?

Anyway, back to the topic. The workshop was very interesting and I found myself thinking about how to incorporate more calm into my own life. I also found myself thinking how many areas of my life are vulnerable to being "uncalm" (cool new word, eh??).

My husband Guy got a great report from his doctor this morning about the progress he has made in his swallowing issues. I got a decent report from my orthopedic surgeon last week about my progress in "thawing" my frozen shoulder. Are we both in perfect shape in those areas? Uh, NO. But it did give us both a sense of calm knowing we were "growing" in taking care of ourselves.

Finances can easily cause me to lose my "calm" - how about you? Maybe some of you are financially stable and very secure - I am truly happy for you. With Guy and I both being self-employed (and having dealt with some "chronic" health issues the past few years), finances seem to be an area where calm comes to rest awhile before it takes flight again! :-) So I've taken steps to do what I can to encourage calmness in that area. I haven't won the lottery yet (probably because I don't play, ha ha), but I have become very aware of what is important to me and what I don't need to buy to have calm in my life.

Relationships are another area that, when strained, can cause us to lose our "calm" in almost all other areas, too, just from the constant tension. That's why it's so important to try to understand what might be going on in a strained relationship, rather than just putting a label to who's right and who's wrong (since we know we're always right anyway, right? HA!).

What we do for a living can calm us or cause us to live in a state of "not calm." I believe that much of that, though is not due to WHAT we do for a living, but HOW we choose to journey through our vocation. I get decidedly "uncalm" when I get directions to a new client's location, only to find that the directions are not clear and I end up somewhere I shouldn't be. In order to eliminate some of that, I often make a dry run the day before so I know where I'm going. Ahhhhh, the calm I feel the morning of my workshop because I know where I'm headed - that's priceless to me.

And maybe that's the point...maybe we need to know where we're headed in all of these areas so we can try to keep our calm. No, let's change that statement. Maybe we need to recognize what we CAN and can't control in each of these areas to help us hold onto one of my favorite feelings - calm. But here's the deal: be gut-wrenching honest with yourself about what you can and can't control. Example - I've had people in my workshops tell me they are always tired. When we start to dig a little deeper, I find it's because they are up till all hours spending time on the computer, watching TV, or just reading. Even though those activities seem to "calm" them at the time, they also rob a person of what tends to keep us calmer all the way around - sleep!

What area of your life could use a little more calm? And what will you do to achieve that?

Let me know!
Blessings,
Linda
Linda@LindasWorkshops.com

Ah, sweet SUCCESS!

Happy New Year, everyone! And gee, I technically got this edition of the blog in within a month of the last one :-)

As you can see by the title, the word I've chosen is success. I was surprised when I looked back through the blog to see that I hadn't written about success before. I think that's because we are inundated with articles, books, blogs, emails, and TV shows about how we can be "successful" ~ and it gets a bit old, doesn't it?

The problem with all of that is that most of the time, the term "successful" is defined by the world and not by us.

I'm reading a book right now called "Permission to Succeed" and it begins with the author asking his father if it's okay if he is more successful than his dad. Weird question, eh? But as I thought about it, I thought about how many people I meet in my workshops who have never given themselves permission to succeed. And I don't mean permission to earn lots of money, get a big title, big house, big car, big yacht - although I certainly am not against those things :-). But permission to just be who we were meant to be - and to be the best at being that person that we possibly can.

As I looked back over the list of words I've written about, many of them speak to me of "success" in the true sense of the word for me. Determination, listening, encouragement, contentment, simplicity (YES!), patience, appreciation, attitude (with a capital A!), awareness, forgiveness, giving, joy, learning ~ all of those and more spell s-u-c-c-e-s-s for me.

The more of these I have in my life, the more successful I consider myself. A good book in front of the fire, a furry little friend on each side, and a mug of hot cocoa with lots of whipped cream - some days that is the perfect picture of success!

How about you? How do you spell success? And how will you find more of it in 2011?

Happy hunting!

Blessings,

Linda

http://www.lindasworkshops.com/

Linda@LindasWorkshops.com

Confession

Hi everyone,

I hope somewhere in last week's jam-packed week you found contentment...

Well, they say that confession is good for the soul ~ so I'm going to confess to you today. There were moments last week when I did not feel contentment. It wasn't that I was comparing my home, clothes, finances, or car to anyone else. So comparison really wasn't the issue. It's just that last week, life was ... well, hard. Not as hard as it has been in other times and certainly not as hard as many people have it.

It was just a week of "stuff" ~ Guy having a test done at the hospital and an inconsiderate remark by the technician causing some real depression - for both of us. I'm going to physical therapy twice a week (with the accompanying insurance deductible each visit!) to try to clear up a bum shoulder - and avoid surgery. Some job issues didn't work out the way I had hoped which is not all that unusual since I'm self-employed, just not what I needed last week on top of the other things that were happening. For some reason, I missed Abby (see my post about her from a few weeks ago...) more than ever.

You all (or y'all, as they say here in Florida!) know how it goes. I'm sure you've been there a time or two - and maybe you're even there right now.

But remember a few posts ago when I talked about "moment-by-moment?" Well, that's what I finally remembered toward the end of the week. I had a great time with some folks during an online workshop I conducted on Thursday - and the more I thought about helping some of those people and others I'll help in the future, the better I felt about life in general. The better I felt about life in general, the more I've been able to carry that feeling with me over the last couple of days.

Aha! Confession! I was focusing on me, me, me during the rest of the week, when what I really needed to do was to look around, or at least not look at only me. In this case, I saw that I could help someone else feel better. Granted, a workshop may not seem like a big deal, but since it's what I do for a living and I love it, it helps to know I really do help some people. I carried that feeling back to my "work" when the session was over and somehow it has made a difference. Maybe what really made the difference was that I quit looking only at my circumstances.

I guess what I'm saying is, none of us is perfect in trying to be content, not comparing ourselves to others, living in the moment, or any of the other things we've discussed these past few months. What I have found is that if I confess my feelings to myself and figure out how and why they're happening, I can move forward a little quicker. If I can remember to not focus on me, I can find more contentment... maybe you can too. And of course, as you've heard me say before, it's all about awareness!

Blessings,

Linda

Linda@LindasWorkshops.com

http://www.lindasworkshops.com/

Contentment

Hi everyone and welcome to my new readers ~ I know Candee Rose, Robin, and Priti are recent additions and some of you who read the blog but don't show up in my "followers" - welcome to all of you!

So how did you do last week pondering what is vital to your soul? I took a step toward taking care of that today when I visited a local nursery that helps support disabled folks in our community ~ and took home several deep pink plants to brighten my patio - and my life! Visually beautiful things seem to be vital to my soul. When I look at a passion flower or a brilliant red cardinal at the bird feeder, I feel at peace. I hope that over the past few days, you too have re-discovered something that does that for you.

Today's word is contentment. When I read about something THREE times in one day, it's a pretty sure indication that I should write about it in the blog :-)

The word "content" or "contentment" really did appear in 3 things I read today, but the phrase that really caught my eye was in Dr. Charles Stanley's monthly publication called In Touch. He made the comment that "comparison steals contentment." WOW! Three little words with a whole lot of meaning...

Maybe you've been there...

...someone else lost the weight and you seemed to have found it ~

=goodbye contentment

...a friend just spent your monthly food budget on a gorgeous new outfit ~

=goodbye contentment

...another friend got a beautiful new car ~ and yours runs on duct tape ~

=goodbye contentment

...the neighbor just remodeled and added that stunning sunroom you've always wanted ~

=goodbye contentment

...her husband just did the sweetest thing for her ~

=goodbye contentment

...he just got to play golf for the 5th time this week ~

=goodbye contentment

...their bank account makes yours look like the change you get at McDonald's ~

=goodbye contentment

...they're on schedule to retire early and you'll be working until you're 112 ~

=goodbye contentment

...she just got a promotion...and you just got laid off ~

=goodbye contentment

We could all add dozens, if not hundreds, of other comparisons to this list and not a one of them will make us feel good about ourselves. Comparison does indeed steal contentment.

So let's look at life from a different lens...

Have a headache today? Find contentment in your general good health...

Wishing you had more money in the bank? Find contentment that you HAVE money in the bank...

Your spouse/significant other takes you for granted? Find contentment in the fact that you are with someone who cares for you, even when they don't show it the way you'd like...

You'd like to have a new outfit that WASN'T on the 80% off rack? Walk into your closet and find contentment in what is hanging there - I'll bet there's plenty...

Can't lose that 10 pounds you've been fighting? Find contentment in being able to enjoy every bite of a delicious meal...

You drool when you see the beautiful new sunroom...or kitchen...or carpet...or anything...she just got? Find contentment in the beautiful blue sky, flowering blossoms, and deep green grass that we all get to share - for free!

You get the idea - STOP comparing anything in your life to someone else's life. It's just too easy to get caught up in it and let our contentment drain away.

Challenge yourself this week to FIND contentment in your circumstances ~ and let me know what you found!

Blessings,

Linda

http://www.lindasworkshops.com/

Linda@LindasWorkshops.com

JOY to the world!

Before we discuss this week's word, one little aside about last week's word - LEARN. I was at a luncheon on Friday where we exchanged gifts. One of my gifts was...an Angel of Learning! Don't you just love it when something affirms what you knew all along? :-) She now sits proudly next to my desk where I conduct my online workshops - to inspire me and keep me focused on my purpose...

Now on to this week's word... At this time of year, it seems appropriate to ponder JOY. What does joy mean to you? Happiness? Contentment? Peace? All of the above??

So let me ask you this: has anyone ever stolen your joy? I'm a pretty upbeat person, as most of you know, but there are occasions when someone tries to steal my joy - or if not steal it, at least kidnap it! Today was one of those days.

We had taken a "mini-vacation" (some of you will recognize that term from my "Returning Balance to Your Life" workshop) to Barnes and Noble to enjoy a nice warm quiche and a good, strong cup of coffee. It was the perfect setting for a mini-vacation - for about the first 10 minutes. Then two ladies started discussing the pros and cons of their portable e-book readers - not really a notable happening, except they were sitting tables apart from each other, basically yelling across the room. That abrupt end to the peace and quiet was quickly followed by the always-present cell phone users, who proceeded to talk at a volume at least 50% higher than normal (why do they feel a need to do that, by the way - and does "Lisa" really need another cookbook??). Soon our mini-vacation turned into a hasty exit as we quickly left our relaxing experience - and our joy - behind. We have so little "leisure" time to really soak in joy and contentment, that we treasure those moments - and can get pretty resentful of those who seem determined to "disturb the peace."

But my recovery time is pretty quick with "joy stealers" these days. Life is just too short to let something (or someone!) that I cannot change have an effect on my joy that lasts more than minutes (of course, life can throw us curve balls that tend to keep our joy hidden for much longer periods). So in my typical fashion, I adjusted my attitude as I walked to the car and by the time I was home, I was feeling at peace again.

I think part of the reason for my ability to "recover quickly" is due to a speaker I heard several years ago (thank you, Pastor Tharp), who said something about joy that I found very profound. I have since adopted it as one of my life principles. He said that whenever he is around someone who is negative, mean-spirited, or seemingly doing all in their power to turn an experience from positive to negative, he offers these simple words: "I will SHARE my joy with you, but I won't allow ANYONE to steal it."

Makes a lot of sense, doesn't it? I decided I didn't want to BE one of those people others think of as a joy-stealer, so I chose to change my own attitude. And I certainly wasn't going to allow the Barnes & Noble gremlins to steal my joy, even if they did manage to camouflage it for a few minutes.

So I'll ask you again, "Has anyone ever stolen your joy?" Maybe it's time you share it instead...

Have a blessed Christmas and a healthy, happy, and JOY-filled New Year!
Linda
www.LindasWorkshops.com
Linda@LindasWorkshops.com