Showing posts with label joy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joy. Show all posts

Monday, February 10, 2014

Disappointment - yikes!

Hi everyone,

Well, I've held off posting for a week or so because the word that kept coming to mind was...disappointment! I'm not sure why that is stuck on replay in my mind, but since it is, I thought maybe someone reading this needs a little encouragement.

The thing is, we all go through disappointments - yearly, monthly, weekly, daily...sometimes hourly!! It's how we handle those disappointments that will affect how we feel physically and emotionally.

For example, the cool fence you see in the picture is the one I mentioned last spring. I love how it looks, but was totally disappointed about the lack of customer service from the landscaper. One of the $10 plants (luckily not a camellia!) died shortly after planting. I suggested a small credit to my credit card so that the landscaper wouldn't have to drive all the way here to replace one small plant, which was on the end anyway. He assured me twice, in writing, that he would come and replace it. Alas, that never happened and I had to get rather stern about at least getting a copy of the lifetime warranty for the fence. The result? I simply won't use that landscaper anymore, nor would I refer him if asked about the fence.

That's a pretty simple disappointment, isn't it? It took several hours of my time to finally get it out of the way, but overall, nothing to get too uptight about. Just a disappointing experience with a service provider. Those kinds of things happen often enough that I knew to just dismiss it when it was over.

But what about when it's a disappointment about your health? Some of you know that my husband had tongue cancer 7 years ago (key word...HAD!) and he has suffered ramifications of the radiation several times since then. The most recent incident involves his jaw totally locking for some odd reason. A month into this stressful situation, he is finally able to get his mouth open about 3/8", but still can't eat his beloved scrambled eggs in the morning. He is, once again, on a totally liquid diet. Huge disappointment. Most days he has a good attitude about it, but some days, it's just too much, ya know?? Yeah, I bet some of you DO know because maybe you've gone through something health-wise that is just as disappointing - or worse. 

And speaking of health issues, my blog posts apparently caught the eye of an attorney's office a few weeks ago. I got what appeared to be a heartfelt email from a woman about how it would be so kind of me to post about raising awareness for mesothelioma. Indeed, I have no doubt that awareness is something that would help those affected. Something just didn't feel right, though. When I researched the information from her signature line, it appeared as if it was a thinly veiled way of soliciting clients for an attorney she must work for. ARGH. I am sometimes so disappointed by the human race. When I tried to get a straight answer, I got a very obvious one - she quit responding to my emails, which told me all I needed to know. Again, not a big deal...just... disappointing.

Last week, I was reading evaluations for one of my workshops and one person's comment was quite negative. Even though the overwhelming majority (all other participants, as a matter of fact!) were very complimentary about how helpful the program was for them, that one comment left me feeling...guess what ...disappointed in myself! I wondered what I could have done to reach that one person, when in reality, I should have looked at what I did right to reach all the others so that I could repeat whatever that was ;-). Although I always take evaluations to heart, I got over that one pretty quickly. There wasn't any constructive feedback to help me improve, and since others thought it was great, I had to let it go.

And having just worked on the paperwork to take to the accountant for tax season, I'm reminded that disappointment can certainly come in the form of monetary issues, can't it? I had a good year last year, as did my husband...but neither of us had quite as good a year as the year before. Disappointing? Yes. But oh, we are so blessed. We have our home, our cars, our general health, our four-legged critters to keep us company, food in the pantry, heat or air at the touch of a thermostat, and work we both love. How can disappointment linger when there is so much to be grateful for?? We know the peaks and valleys of being self-employed and we recognize when things are going very well along those lines, as they are for both of us.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, we will all face disappointments coming from a myriad of directions. How do we handle them? How should we handle them? That's different for each of us, isn't it? But one thing I'm fairly certain of is that we each need to make sure those disappointments aren't dragging us down and stealing our joy day after day after day. 

Recognize them? Yes. Deal with them? Sure, the best we can. Then take a deep breath and move on, because life is going to move on anyway, whether you are moving forward with purpose or mired down in the muck of disappointments. 

Find things to focus on that bring you pleasure and nurture your soul - and that take your mind off the disappointment, at least for a time. Flowers, animals, your kids, friends, a beautiful breeze, a good book, a sweet-scented candle, a warm blanket, a piece of rich chocolate ...whatever it is that brings you pleasure...be sure you find a little of that every single day. And be in the moment when you find it, so that - if you need to - you can recall that pleasure to help you deal with whatever life throws your way.

And if I can help chase your disappointment away, just drop me a line. Or if you've found a way that really works for you and might work for others, let me know that, too!

Blessings,
Linda
www.LindasWorkshops.com
Linda@LindasWorkshops.com

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Decisions, Decisions

Hi everyone!

I hope you've had a fabulous summer and are eagerly anticipating a nice crisp, clear fall...that's what we're hoping for here in Florida.

Today's word, as you can see, is "decision." You can also see I made a "decision" to add Grover, our handicapped kitty, to the hall of fame known as my blog posts. He gets mentioned a lot, but he's not always photogenic, so finding great pictures of his handsome face is not always easy. I think this one shows his inner beauty, though...

And on to today's word...I was thinking about how many decisions we make on a daily basis - what time to get up, what to have for breakfast, exercise or not, what to wear, which route to take to work, which tasks to tackle first, whether or not to stop for groceries on the way home, which bills to pay this week, what to have for dinner, good china or everyday dishes, load the dishes into the dishwasher or wash by hand, what to watch on TV, what time to go to bed...as you can see, I could go on and on to the point of ridiculousness! But think about it...we do actually make that many decisions and dozens more - every. single. day.

And yet...when it comes to deciding how we want our lives to move forward, we tend to avoid that at all costs. Each 24-hour period that slips by is gone forever. As dramatic as that sounds, it's true.

The question is, what did you REALLY decide today? Did you decide to be angry at the person who cut you off in traffic? Did you decide to be irritated with your co-worker...or your boss? Did you decide to spend money you don't really have because it made you feel better - for about 91 seconds?? Did you decide to eat something you know you shouldn't eat because yummmmm, it tastes so good - and then feels so bad when you see the number on the scale?

Or did you, friends, decide that today is too important to choose a negative attitude? Because decisions are all about choices, aren't they? Are your decisions bringing you joy, happiness, and peace?

Let me know - I'd love to hear what you've "decided!"

Blessings,
Linda
www.LindasWorkshops.com
Linda@LindasWorkshops.com

Monday, September 2, 2013

Seasons...

Greetings everyone...

Well, here in Florida, we are just starting to feel a change of seasons - for about 9.3 minutes per day ;-)  In the early mornings, if I am standing in the shade and there's a breeze, the breeze hints that there are cooler days ahead. In the evenings, I can feel those cooler days getting closer. It's time for a new season.

Sometimes it's time for a new season in life, isn't it? And if you're like me, you might not be ready - or you may even be denying that it's coming.

We just experienced a season like that. Murphy, our 16-year old rescued kitty, died on August 22 and I have to face a new season without him. He slept with me (I know some won't approve, but he was my buddy!), he worked on my desk with me (and sometimes drove me crazy bumping up against the computer to get my attention), and he spent quiet time with me most mornings. The void is noticeable.

Murphy had shown signs that he was slowing down, so it was easy to deny that he was also losing weight and having a few "off" days now and then. He played just 2 nights before we said goodbye. In my mind, I convinced myself that he was still the same, young and ornery, and that we had a lot of years left. But somewhere deep in my heart, I knew he was going downhill. The occasional blood tests were showing signs of some ailments that kitties don't recover from. Still, I did not want to face this new season.

As we've said goodbye to Murphy, we've said hello to Brody, our rescued Australian shepherd. Thankfully, he has made me smile at some point every single day since we adopted him. Sometimes the smiles from Brody come through the tears about Murphy. That's how seasons work, I guess. There are good things and sometimes some not-so-good things about the seasons we go through in life.

There are seasons where we feel financially secure, or relatively healthy and fit, or deeply satisfied with our work - or our relationships - or our cars - or our homes - or our                ...

However you fill in that blank, I'll bet you agree that there are also times when we aren't all that thrilled with the current season. 

So what should we do? Hide until it passes? That didn't work so well the last time I tried it! Instead, we need to be in the moment - recognize a season for what it is...a season. A period of time that eventually passes - whether we want it to or not. 

And maybe while we're living in this season, we can also look foward to the new season that's coming just as sure as that cooler weather carried on the breezes here in Florida.

What season are you struggling with? Can you picture the new season waiting for you? Maybe your new season doesn't actually bring a change in circumstances - maybe it just brings a change in you - peace, joy, contentment...whatever this season has been missing. May you find it as you experience this particular season.

Blessings,
Linda


Friday, December 31, 2010

Ah, sweet SUCCESS!


Happy New Year, everyone! And gee, I technically got this edition of the blog in within a month of the last one :-)


As you can see by the title, the word I've chosen is success. I was surprised when I looked back through the blog to see that I hadn't written about success before. I think that's because we are inundated with articles, books, blogs, emails, and TV shows about how we can be "successful" ~ and it gets a bit old, doesn't it?

The problem with all of that is that most of the time, the term "successful" is defined by the world and not by us.

I'm reading a book right now called "Permission to Succeed" and it begins with the author asking his father if it's okay if he is more successful than his dad. Weird question, eh? But as I thought about it, I thought about how many people I meet in my workshops who have never given themselves permission to succeed. And I don't mean permission to earn lots of money, get a big title, big house, big car, big yacht - although I certainly am not against those things :-). But permission to just be who we were meant to be - and to be the best at being that person that we possibly can.


As I looked back over the list of words I've written about, many of them speak to me of "success" in the true sense of the word for me. Determination, listening, encouragement, contentment, simplicity (YES!), patience, appreciation, attitude (with a capital A!), awareness, forgiveness, giving, joy, learning ~ all of those and more spell s-u-c-c-e-s-s for me.

The more of these I have in my life, the more successful I consider myself. A good book in front of the fire, a furry little friend on each side, and a mug of hot cocoa with lots of whipped cream - some days that is the perfect picture of success!

How about you? How do you spell success? And how will you find more of it in 2011?

Happy hunting!

Blessings,

Linda


Monday, January 4, 2010

What are you FOCUSING on?

Hi all,

My apologies for a late post this week. Between a pulled muscle in my back and one of the longest colds in recent memory, my FOCUS was not where it needed to be. Although the muscle is still a pain (literally!), the cold is winding down and it's time to get my focus back to where I want it - a positive look at the new year ahead.

It's so easy to get sidetracked from what we should focus on, isn't it? I try to be a very positive person, so I refuse to focus on the news, violence on TV, etc. Yet everyday happenings such as colds, pulled muscles, car repairs, sick loved ones, cranky co-workers, etc., can take our focus off the joy I mentioned in the last couple of blogs. That's natural and we certainly don't need to beat ourselves up over it. I've never known anyone who added joy by beating themselves up for not focusing on it! What we should do, though, is be aware of how long our focus is distracted or distorted.

For fun (and because I love words!), I looked up "focus" - "a center of activity, attraction, or attention." I'm not a big believer in "attracting whatever I think about" when it comes to tangibles like cash (I wish!), a new car, etc. I am convinced, though, that making the negatives in our lives "a center of activity, attraction, or attention" produces more negatives. If I'm in a bad mood and choose to share that with others, guess what happens? All of a sudden, they are in a bad mood too and now I've multiplied the negativity and REALLY made it hard to get my focus (and theirs) back on a positive note.

I even go so far as to suggest to participants in my "Returning Balance" classes that they should hang around with "YouBet" people instead of "YeahBut" people (can't remember where I heard that years ago, but isn't it a jewel??). You know what I mean - you say, "Isn't the weather beautiful?" and they say, "Yeah, but we need rain." You say, "We really need this rain." and they say, "Yeah, but it's been raining too much." Pretty soon, every thought is followed by "yeah, but" instead of "you bet!"

I don't want to discount the fact that some of us have BIG issues that cause us to lose focus - I have certainly been there/done that, especially over the past 5 years, and have the tee shirts to prove it. I just want to encourage you to take a moment and "reset" your focus now and then. Have a great cup of coffee (Keurig coffeemakers are the greatest!). Watch the snow softly fall (and try not to think about the cold that goes with it!). Read a few pages in a book that brings you pleasure. Have one exquisitely delicious piece of chocolate - and enjoy every moment. Pet the cat (if you can!) or hug the dog (or your significant other - or your child - or a friend - or someone who just needs a hug!).

So here's my question for you this week: What do you find yourself focusing on? Do you focus on what brings you joy or do you focus on all the little things that can so easily keep us in a negative mindset? Are you a "yeah, but" person or a "you bet!" person??

In other words, take time today and every single day to focus on what brings you joy...

Blessings,
Linda
www.LindasWorkshops.com
Linda@LindasWorkshops.com

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Joy...continued!

Greetings as we begin to wind down yet another year. My high school phys ed teacher was right - they seem to go faster the older I get!

When I was thinking about what I wanted to write about this week, the word joy kept coming back, even though I mentioned it last week. And when I was pondering what I wanted to title this week's post, "Joy...continued" popped into my mind. When that phrase came into my little pea brain, I immediately grabbed hold of it as the great ending to one year and a perfect beginning to the next. Think about it ~ isn't that what you want in 2010? Joy...continued??

So let me ask you a different question than last week's: What is it that gives you soul-satisfying joy? I have found over the past few years that for me it has nothing to do with "stuff." As a matter of fact, sometimes the "stuff" gets in the way of my joy. My joy comes from awareness ~ of my surroundings, of my blessings (especially health for me and those I care about!), of my purpose in life (which I have come to believe is to help other people, whether that is through a workshop, a conversation, an email or this blog!), and sometimes just an awareness of life itself as I sit quietly in front of the fireplace surrounded by my "furry friends."

So I'll end with that question ~ again: What is it that gives you soul-satisfying, mind-calming joy?

As we enter a New Year, take some time to think about the answer to that question. THEN make sure you find time to experience "it" (whatever "it" is for YOU) over the next 12 months...

Remember ~ joy CONTINUED. Isn't that what life should be about every year?

Wishing you the healthiest ~ and most joyous ~ of New Years...and don't forget to share that joy with others!

Blessings,
Linda
www.lindasworkshops.com
877-216-5781
linda@lindasworkshops.com

Sunday, December 20, 2009

JOY to the world!

Before we discuss this week's word, one little aside about last week's word - LEARN. I was at a luncheon on Friday where we exchanged gifts. One of my gifts was...an Angel of Learning! Don't you just love it when something affirms what you knew all along? :-) She now sits proudly next to my desk where I conduct my online workshops - to inspire me and keep me focused on my purpose...

Now on to this week's word... At this time of year, it seems appropriate to ponder JOY. What does joy mean to you? Happiness? Contentment? Peace? All of the above??

So let me ask you this: has anyone ever stolen your joy? I'm a pretty upbeat person, as most of you know, but there are occasions when someone tries to steal my joy - or if not steal it, at least kidnap it! Today was one of those days.

We had taken a "mini-vacation" (some of you will recognize that term from my "Returning Balance to Your Life" workshop) to Barnes and Noble to enjoy a nice warm quiche and a good, strong cup of coffee. It was the perfect setting for a mini-vacation - for about the first 10 minutes. Then two ladies started discussing the pros and cons of their portable e-book readers - not really a notable happening, except they were sitting tables apart from each other, basically yelling across the room. That abrupt end to the peace and quiet was quickly followed by the always-present cell phone users, who proceeded to talk at a volume at least 50% higher than normal (why do they feel a need to do that, by the way - and does "Lisa" really need another cookbook??). Soon our mini-vacation turned into a hasty exit as we quickly left our relaxing experience - and our joy - behind. We have so little "leisure" time to really soak in joy and contentment, that we treasure those moments - and can get pretty resentful of those who seem determined to "disturb the peace."

But my recovery time is pretty quick with "joy stealers" these days. Life is just too short to let something (or someone!) that I cannot change have an effect on my joy that lasts more than minutes (of course, life can throw us curve balls that tend to keep our joy hidden for much longer periods). So in my typical fashion, I adjusted my attitude as I walked to the car and by the time I was home, I was feeling at peace again.

I think part of the reason for my ability to "recover quickly" is due to a speaker I heard several years ago (thank you, Pastor Tharp), who said something about joy that I found very profound. I have since adopted it as one of my life principles. He said that whenever he is around someone who is negative, mean-spirited, or seemingly doing all in their power to turn an experience from positive to negative, he offers these simple words: "I will SHARE my joy with you, but I won't allow ANYONE to steal it."

Makes a lot of sense, doesn't it? I decided I didn't want to BE one of those people others think of as a joy-stealer, so I chose to change my own attitude. And I certainly wasn't going to allow the Barnes & Noble gremlins to steal my joy, even if they did manage to camouflage it for a few minutes.

So I'll ask you again, "Has anyone ever stolen your joy?" Maybe it's time you share it instead...

Have a blessed Christmas and a healthy, happy, and JOY-filled New Year!
Linda
www.LindasWorkshops.com
Linda@LindasWorkshops.com